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Shame, Guilt, Regret

Why did Peter deny His Friend?

Psalm 1 says, “How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers.”

When Jesus was arrested in the garden Peter did not flee the scene as had the others. He tried to defend Jesus by lashing out at Malchus, the high priest’s servant, cutting off his ear. As Jesus was led away to see Caiaphas, the high priest, Peter followed. (John chapter 18) Was it love and devotion?

My friend, James Robison told me once, “Often when our emotions get involved discernment leaves”. Perhaps this is what happened to Peter. He was walking in the crowd of the wicked. This crowd was easily swayed by mob mentality and emotion. We sometimes have a good intention; our motive is right, but we do it the wrong way and get ourselves in trouble.

At this point Peter could have left the crowd. He could have changed direction. How often our whole life changes on a simple choice. It becomes what I call a “hinge decision”.

But Peter not only walked with them – he stood with them and warmed himself by their fire. He was perhaps more concerned for his own comfort than what was happening to his dear friend. Luke (chapter 22) tells us that Peter sat with them to warm himself. It was there that the servant girl saw him in the fire light and recognized him. She told those around the fire that Peter had been with Jesus.

Peter denied he even knew Jesus. He denied he was “one of them” (disciples). An hour went by – time enough to change his course. A man said that Peter was a Galilean – he must have been with Jesus. Peter vehemently denied it. Before he even finished the denial, the cock crowed. At that point Jesus looked at Peter and Peter remembered that Jesus had predicted Peter would deny him.

At that point Peter left those by the fire. It was too late – the denials had taken place. Peter went out and wept bitterly. I cannot begin to imagine the sorrow and the regret. The “if only…”

I am not sure this compares well, but I have in mind the deep grief expressed and exhibited by the “Blade Runner”, Oscar Pistorius, this week in a South African court. Gut wrenching sobs. Sorrow. Regret. Shame. His life is forever changed.

Peter knew what he had done. Peter, at that point didn’t realize he would ever see Jesus alive again. Seemingly sentenced to a life of total grief and shame and regret.

God had another plan for Peter’s life!

But before we go there…

Let’s take note of where Peter positioned himself. He walked, stood and sat where he had no business being. Where are you walking today? Close to the edge? Flirting with sin? Where are you standing? Are your friends a good, godly influence? Or do they pull you down to their level so much so that you are comfortable with them. Is your spirit trying to get your attention to warn you. Listen. Take heed.

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Reverse Direction

This morning I helped deliver Meals on Wheels with other members of my church – we take the month of January for delivery. I was paired with a terrific lady and it has been fun to get to know each other during these weeks. Since I have a station wagon, I drove while she navigated then both of us would get out to deliver the meals at the various homes or apartments.

We went to an area of town my Mother used to call, “the gentle side of town”. These folks appear to have been worn down by life, tired. They are grateful for what we bring. To be honest, today, it didn’t look very appetizing: sort of an orange colored piece of meat with a side of gray-green butter beans, a small carton of milk and a piece of bread – maybe a fruit though I didn’t see it.

Since the forecast is for snow we took an extra meal – something canned and prepackaged. Like I said, not very appetizing.

It takes a lot of work to get those meals out the door to each home. The ladies in the kitchen get up early each day to cook and have the meals hot for us when we arrive at 10:45. It takes organization to know who gets what taking into consideration dietary needs. It also takes patience to figure out the routes for each group. And each week there are some whose meals have to be held for whatever reason but we need to know which ones. Then we have to have the addresses…it is quite a job…they do it day after day, week after week, month after month.

But anyway, today we had a new person on the route. My partner grew up in town so I relied on her to tell me where to go…she relied on her memory of who this person was and where he lived. A couple of times that did not work so well and I had to back up or turn around. She apologized. I told her, “That’s why I have a reverse gear.”

When we went on our way, I thought about that. God has given us a “reverse gear” in life. (This is not a theological treatise!) When we are going in the wrong direction what do we do? Assess the situation and recognize we are in the wrong place. We are not where we intended or want to be. We have to stop. Then we have to turn around. Often that means putting it into reverse.

There is nothing wrong with that. As a matter of fact, there is a lot right with that! We all make mistakes and need to turn around. To pretend that we don’t will mean we get into a bigger mess farther from where God wants us to be. Or to continue down the road thinking we can correct it later…Or think we can figure it out on our own…It will be more painful and harder to make the correction. Not impossible – nothing is impossible with God – but harder and more painful.

What if the Israelites had recognized their error sooner and changed direction…they wouldn’t have had to wander in the desert for 40 years!!

Ok. We assess where we are, recognize we are wrong and decide to change direction. We stop. What’s next?

Look for signposts to tell us where we are and where we want to go. Ask for directions. Get help. Then move forward in the right direction and continue! In time you will arrive at your intended destination.

Don’t waste time beating yourself up for making a mistake! We all do. God allows us to begin again! He restores us and sets us on the right path – no matter how far off track we go!

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